I want to unpack the word unmasking. The word uses the imagery of a mask. We might imagine a mask over the face, and the subsequent removal of a mask to reveal the authentic face. This metaphor actually fails us in what we are up to with unmasking!
First of all, masking and unmasking are not binary processes. It is not that I am either a) masking or b) unmasking, and I could check a box on a questionnaire to neatly determine which one I am up to in a particular moment. Rather, the masks we build are constructed over time, in response to a set of complex developmental demands. Masking is our way of meeting those demands, and our masks may be very ornate, very nuanced, creative, and not necessarily conscious. The mask may not ever come all the way off. I may be masking in this moment in ways I am not aware of, and may become more aware as I find the safety to be more and more connected to myself.
Secondly, masking is not just happening in the face. For me, a valuable indicator of my own masking is the sensation of tension in my body. And conversely, if my whole body feels relaxed and I am accessing joy, I am likely in an unmasking process.
Our last Relational Unmasking group of the year starts in two weeks on Oct 28th! In-person in Lafayette, CO. We have a couple spots left. Reach out to blueheronhealingartsinfo@gmail.com to claim your spot.
We start each Relational Unmasking group in the body, with a guided somatic exercise. Why do we do this? As a whole, neurodivergent people tend to run highly stressed. This puts our nervous systems in a mode that makes it difficult to access joy and is not great for our long term health. We start in the body to return to connection to self and to relaxation pathways.
We can access unmasking by attending to our exquisitely sensitive sensory awareness. To know what my sensitive body wants, I must connect with it. This connection yields important data. In one Relational Unmasking group, one of the participants, with excitement in their face, asked the group: What are your favorite sensory experiences? We then got to hear about about sensory delights so particular to each human in the group: immersion in saltwater, hands moving through clay, immersive soundscapes, the smell on the street after the first rain, and deep dates with nature as a lover. So often in neurodivergent spaces, the focus can go to sensory problems, such as sensory overwhelm. These sensory needs matter. But also, to turn the focus instead to sensory joy allows for a radical path out of suffering and toward relaxation.
This November 13th, we will be offering a community event exploring Unmasking as a Whole Body Experience. Join us in immersive experiences with sound and sounding, movement, art, plants, and playing with tactile objects such as rocks and feathers. Bring your sensory reality into community and find creative expression there. 11/13/26, 6-9pm at Nyland Community House. Please pre-register here.
